Abram Goff

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What Men Want In The Shape of A Woman (Revised)

"Dude, dude, look at that girl over there by the door." I spun around fast enough to not miss an opportunity, but slow enough it wasn't obvious I was working hard to take a peek. 

"What girl?!"

"The blonde one in the stripes"

"Really?!" I turned to my friend with my head cocked like a dog in slight disbelief. "The stripes?! No, no, no, the brunette with the blue shirt!" 

He turned to me with a astounded look. Another impasse.

This is why we were friends, we have totally different types.  He could walk past a group of girls without breaking his train of thought on what socks he wanted to get while I tried my best to not walk awkwardly and remember how to have any form of a conversation. 


It's fascinating to see the differences in men and women and how the tension actually compliments the other when celebrated correctly. Take visuals for instance. Men are visual and are made to admire beauty. Women are beautiful and have an inner desire to be seen as beautiful. Catch that?  What a woman wants to be seen as, a man want to see.

I think this actually comes from Genesis 1:27 when God created both sexes in His image. God is beautiful. Part of Him desires to be seen as beautiful and another part of Him desires to pursue beauty. I believe He's put that in women and men - to display and pursue beauty. This is done such a pure way the other person actually benefits from it.  Yes, I know there's much more to women and to men than this aspect of each gender and their coming together process, but let's focus on this part of men for a few minutes for all the ladies out there. And yes, I'm talking "admire and celebrate" not recklessly selfishly lust after.


This is why I'm sad to watch my female friends hate on their body. "I'm too tall. Too short. Hips are too big. I have no butt. My eyelashes are too long." That's a thing?! "My hairs too wavy, straight, puffy, curly, flat, etc."

That is such crap. 

The more I talk to men about relationships and what they are honestly physically attracted all types of women. I don't mean to sound crude, but I would love for the women out there to know whatever your size, shape, height, color, there are men out there who are into that. 

You see, I believe a man's standard of beauty is his wife. Once he chooses her, every other woman is alright and probably beautiful, but doesn't compare to his wife. His wife....is where it's at. That's perfection for him. A man redefines what he is attracted to based upon the women in front of him rocking his last name. 

The struggle is with pornography and our overly sex-driven-media-culture is that a screen is trying to tell boys "this one body type is the right body type and that's what you should be into. This and only this is what is attractive to you." The same screen lies to the women at the same time and says "if you don't fit this one body type that we picked to be the standard, you need to start changing because no man wants to be with the shape of you." LIES!

I'm here to shatter the screen and sober us all up. Ladies, if you've got a body, you've got men out there who are digging your shape. Men, stop being told what you have to be attracted to. You may be missing some really quality ladies because you're looking for someone else's type. Ask God to show you what you really like and then go woo her (not ogle or treat her like meat). Dive into who she is, what she likes, what makes her tick. Tell her she's beautiful. (Don't be weird about it though.) Appreciate her don't try to get something out of it. You're here to celebrate what God has done and son, He does good work.

Thank you, women, for displaying a vast array of beauty so each men can adore the beauty that has been crafted to meet the desire in him. At 20, 40, 60 years old - with a college body or after delivering four children with your body, we as men are made to desire you. You're doing great. Thanks for rocking your shape. Your husband will one day get to express more intimately how thankful he is that you are the way you are.