I was 27 years old before I learned that the skills that make a good relationship are not the same skills that start a new relationship. Everywhere I went people would tell me I’d be a good husband and father, except I wasn’t getting through the first few dates very smoothly.  I saw people all around me doing the same thing - giving too much too soon.

So you finally got the date. Maybe a miracle happened and a man was given the sight and courage to not only see you, but ask you out. Maybe after your twelve-year sentence to the friend zone, you found a nice female warden to let you out to see the sunshine of a romantic first date. Or maybe this is your sixth first date this month. Whichever storyline brought you to this point, here we all are on the first date...trying not to mess it up. Your past experience and beliefs about how things should go or could go will have more influence on your date than picking the right clothes will.

I once read “Dating: either you get married or you break up. No pressure.” When it comes to rejection and heartbreak, I’m not a rookie. I've went for it and wish I had and here's some tips from the trenches of how to move on.

FOMO (The Fear of Missing Out) is the question that seeps in to make you question if this is as good as it could be, or do you need to wait longer for a possible something that could be one day. The devil is still playing the same game...

It's fascinating to see the differences in men and women and how the tension actually compliments each other when celebrated correctly. Men are visual and are made to admire beauty. Women are beautiful and have an inner desire to be seen as beautiful. 

Have you ever saw the girl, wanted to ask her out, then realized the English language and you just took a break. You want to say something but have no idea what to say? Been there. Let me help. 

I'm interested in this girl, should I ask her for coffee or dinner. Are they the same? What does it communicate to her?

Now that the end of the date as come, you realize it's time to communicate the next step. Are you down for more or would you rather bow out here? And...how do you say that?

As singles in the Church, we're taught to leverage our singleness for the Kingdom. Some of us need to stop giving ourselves so freely in the single season.